Answer to question 3 of an online interview

3. Briefly describe a time when you achieved a goal in the face of challenges (or while balancing multiple responsibilities). What specific steps did you take to ensure you would meet your goal, and how did you know you were successful? How will you apply that experience to set goals and measure your success in the classroom?

I have five children and I wish they all would just do what I say and believe what I tell them one-hundred percent of the time, but they don’t!  I have goals for my children, each are individualized based on what I perceive to be their strengths and weaknesses and personalities.  What I found is even though I know each will learn to swim, each will do it on their own time.  I realize I cannot throw them into the middle of the pool and yell “you can do it.”

One of my children had no fear of the water, which was good and bad.  She often jumped into the pool without the proper swim gear and we would have to fish her out.  To protect her and ensure she did not have a bad experience with swimming, we had to suit her up in the appropriate swim safety equipment before she went out to the pool.

Another one of my children was a natural athlete, more so than the others, but his nature was to be cautious.  Even though I knew he could get into the water and step down on the steps, he would not, but he loved being in the water.  So, with him, I simply left him alone, because when I tried to push is comfort zone to match mine, he regressed rather than moved forward.

My oldest child, never had a fear of the water and could naturally sustain himself without any training at all.  When swimming, we could not get him out of the water, I’ve watched him swim for eight hours.  He had watched me swim, I am a previous competitor swimmer, and he started mimicking the breaststroke.  Witnessing this natural ability, I attempted to teach him more and to my surprise he was desirable of the coaching.  In was only weeks before he mastered the breaststroke and the freestyle.  I took him to the local summer recreation team and they too were impressed with his ability and took him on as a member.  Every swim practice he cried.  His first meet he would not even jump into the water.  And no matter what I did, all methods tried, he would simply not compete and continued to fear swim practice, he quit.

By age 13 he had matured some.  He had a summer of success with Football, so I offered swimming to him once again.  Because swimming was so natural, he did not believe he had much talent.  His first year of competitive swimming, he qualified for the top meet of the summer in 3 events and was the fifth fastest breaststroker in his age group.

My goal was for each of my children to learn to competent in the pool, not be competitive swimmers or even know any of the strokes.  What I did was accommodate my teaching style, my motivation, my instruction style to inch each child along the way to the point where each in their own time were safe around the pool.

I originally hoped to accomplish getting them pool ready in one summer, but because of my work travel work schedule, family and friend obligations along with maintaining a house and pool and maintaining my own goals, I threw away the time factor and focused on the next step.  And the next step was simply getting into the pool and just being their for them and for me to be a role model for them.

This is the very same technique I will bring to the classroom.  I learned to have an overall goal, big goals are great, but the path to accomplishment can take many different routes.  This is what I would bring to the classroom, is having the desired goal of success, but not measuring success by reaching the goal, but by how far we have come.  And success cannot be compared to the child next to them, the child’s success is their own and they themselves need to learn how to be proud of what they have accomplished.  This leads in my mind to them taking what they learned and applying it in other places in life.

Answer to second question to an online interview question

2. The most important responsibility of a teacher is to ensure high academic achievement for all students. Explain how one skill or ability that you possess will help you ensure success as a teacher, and describe how you will apply this skill or ability to ensure high academic achievement for all your students.

High achievement is relative to the student.  It depends on their base starting academic level and their aptitude to learn and their desire to learn.  So, moving a child from lacking the desire to learn to wanting to learn is a high achievement or moving a child with low academic base to within the academic parameters and challenging the high achiever to be even better are all elements of helping students be a high achiever.

I do have skills and abilities I believe will be successful helping all levels of students reach even higher academic achievements, but the first and most important impression the children should feel from me is love, compassion and caring.   With love and acceptance, the bond of trust starts to develop. 

My next sense is to get a good feeling for each child, who they are, where they are from, what are they like, and build a sense of how best to approach each child in the learning environment.  For example, children who have already had excellent success may not need much supervision, but they may need to increase their desire to be even better.  The child with low academic success, they may need the revelation of “I can”, this is done through helping them take small steps of success.  Other students may need just love and patience.  My goal as a teacher is not to push children academically but pull them and they themselves create the push thus the desire to learn even more.

Answer to an online interview question

1.     Nearly all Fellows are hired to teach in 'high-need' schools that are located in low-income communities. Why do you want to teach specifically in a high-need school in Fort Worth? What challenges do you expect, and what experiences have prepared you for the challenges of teaching in a high-need school in our community?

I cannot specifically explain why I would like to teach in a high-need school located in low-income Fort Worth communities.   My only exposure to high-need school is through the news and from teachers I have met who have had the experience.  The news seems to report the negative of the schools, the children not getting educated, the lack of good books, crime, language problems, and discipline.  However; in my conversation with teachers, I also hear of the positive, the reward, the way it has made them better teachers, educators and individuals. 

I equate teaching to that of becoming a parent.  When expecting my first child, opinions of friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances deluged me with their perspective of the good, the bad and mostly the ugly of parenting.  Had this influenced me, I may not have had any children.  What inspired me was not what anyone told me, it was what I desired, what I had a passion to be, and this was to be a parent.  In addition, with my desire and passion, the good, the bad and the ugly is an expected part of the role.

I enter teaching with the same passion and desire, I want to be a teacher, have an impact on those I have the opportunity to touch.  It does not matter whether I am teaching in high-need schools or top notch schools, my desire is the same, to do the best I can with whatever tools I have available.

The Hill is Flat

In life, I learned from cycling, to approach the hill In the gear and at the rate I intend to go over the hill.  I found I can always develop momentum and gear up; but the strain on my legs, body and mind to gear down because the strength is not there or the pain is too much does not go away, it stays painful and tiresome the entire climb.

I have found it odd when I have been riding my road bike on a street which looks like it is going down hill; yet when I stop peddling, I slow down as I am going up hill, what is this optical illusion; terrible for optimism.

I have also found myself riding my road bike on streets which look up hill; yet my rate and pace steadily increase as if I were going down hill, love those lucky breaks.

 I found all hills appear flat when I simply focus on the few feet of pavement directly in front of me, then going over the hill takes care of itself.

I have also learned I can talk myself into pushing the pedal just once more, a lot of times in a row!

I have learned and need to keep learning how to apply what I've learned from cycling into my everyday life. 

What is your Rhythm?

Rhythm of Life

How we pick our lives; the pace and what we do to me is no different than those of athletes.  Each athlete seems to find a sport, and event which fits there body, there personality.  And when they train, they train in  way which maximizes there potential.  Why is this obeservation of value; well to me picking what we do for our lives is just as important as an athlete picking the right sport and event. 

But it seems like many, many of us don't take this into consideration when we start our lives.  And this is reflected in the incredible increase in people stressing, needing drugs to sustain a pace, to calms themselves down, to wake themselves up.   And in all of this; it seems that there are some who are naturally able to constantly work at a high rate; yet there are many of us who are not designed to work at this incredibly high expected rate of work.

Think about it this way, if a sprinter spent his career trying to be a long distant runner, would they be as successful and would you guess it would be an incredible strain on them physically and mentally?  The same as a long distance runner trying to run the 100 M, how would it effect them.  And if they could not be successful, would we call them failures?

My point is, I believe we each have a unique rhythm, a rhythm which brings harmony to our lives; but so many of us are trying to run our lives at someone else's rhythm and pace, one our body and mind cannot sustain, thus the gradual break down of our physical and mental soundness.

Have you found your rhythm?

Are you stuck in a dance you cannot get out of, does your health and mental soundness have to digress before you change?

Are we teaching or telling your children, how important it is to find a life style which fits there personal rhythm?

This morning ...

These thoughts and questions presented themselves, I wrote them down.
It's about 9:00 AM and I am so lucky to have this moment to sit here at Shady Grove Park located at Eagle Mountain Lake in Azle, TX.  As I sit here,  I wrote.
1. How did we get to where we are in our own society, in the world?
2. Where is the line between cheating and progress?
3. It's interesting - everything seems to have a life cycle, yet man seems to relentlessly trying to eliminate them from their own.
4. Does progress mean better, better in the long run?
5. Man seems to only be willing to act on what they can directly see, the eminent; those that can see further are often called 'nut' , 'lunatics', 'freaks'.
6. What is the key that causes a tornado or a hurricane to suddenly change directions?  Is it God's will?
7. The same is for the weather, it does not seem as though the weatherman are correct very often.  Is it because they are trying to predict God's will?  Like so many are trying to predict the second coming of Christ?
8. Love leads to the path of good behavior.  Rules are followed because they are following love.
9. The Holly Spirit is the center of my being.
10. My flesh, muscle and bone can be taken from me, but my spirit is like the air, it simply is.
11. Why do we spend so much money and time on learning about our planet; do we think if we "know it all" we can then control our destiny?
12. I am amazed in the beauty our world has to offer, I wonder why so few of us see so little of it?
13. The house will fall down, it is unsafe I argue, but no one is listening; they simply cannot see the cracks in the foundation.
14. I can only change if I give God time to change me.
15. The US seems to have gone from independent to dependant; our strength comes through not what we can provide, but through what we consume.
16. Can the world really work as one, I think the US is a great example of a possibility.
17. Ready set go said God:  see if you can discover the mysteries of the world before you destroy yourself in doing so.  The joke Is on us.
18. Separating church and state a brilliant strategy by Satan.
19. If Church and State are truly disconnected; why do churches get tax breaks and other benefits from the Government?  I thought Jesus said give to Caesar what is Caesars' and to God what is God's,  I think Churches should pay there own way.
20. If you are swimming and you cannot find the purpose of swimming, then why are we still swimming.
21. The mistakes our leaders and corporations make seem to be along the same level as a child, where were there parents?
22. Don't try and change the world, ask God to change you and then show others.  Force resists force.  As a physics professor!

First Year Anniversary

May 10th of last year, Mother's day I was baptized.  Getting baptized to me was just like getting married.  I felt the commitment, the love, the passion, but how would my life, my relationship with Jesus Christ will change?

As I got up May 10th 2009 partially to my alarm and partially to my fear of being discovered, I felt an excitement, a peace, a relationship I thought I would never have. 

I knew I had to be up and out of my storage shed, where I had been staying for the last couple months, before people started entering and the manager showed up.

Like most mornings while sleeping in this shed, which I had made into a makeshift apartment, I went over to my bucket of water I renewed last night and take a relatively fresh towel and douse it and then proceed to 'sponge bath' myself.   I do not know why, but the face is the most important part, if my face feels clean, the rest of me feel even that much cleaner.

The choice of clothes of narrowed since doing laundry is not a luxury; my last batch was hand washed in my bucket using left over shampoo I happened to have.  From time to time, I did receive some money, either a loan from my friend or because I sold some of my belongings.  With some money I had, I bought a spray which contained bleach.  This spray, as with bleach changed the color of the clothes, thus I only used it on the inside of the clothes.  This spray was a great saver, it killed of course germs, like under the arm type stuff but also made the clothes smell fresh out of the laundry, and at least I thought and hoped.

I dressed in my best jeans, cleanest T-shirt and today even shouldered a button down shirt, for I was going to be baptized.  I Finish up by wetting my hair and brushing it straight back. Found the shoe string I extracted from my tennis shoe the night before and tied it around my right angle, over the pants, so my jeans would not get caught in the spokes of my bicycle. 

I also had to pack my bag carefully and make sure I did not miss anything. Returning to the storage shed during the day was not a smart maneuver.  It exposed how the storage shed was setup and indicated it has more than just objects in it.  I had to make sure I carried even a change of clothes in my bag, computer, books, power cords, food, or anything else I might need for the next 18 hours.

I looped the shoulder bag over around my back so it sat just about middle, I mounted my faithful Mountain Bike and glided over the push password box and entered my code.  Slowly the gate would slide open and I would peddle my bike through and then make a sharp right to get to my first destination, Starbucks, without much notice.

To get out with as little notice as possible, I was usually heading to Starbucks around 6:30 AM and today, my baptism does not start until 9:00 AM, so I have a little time to myself.  Today, as most days, I start by reading the Bible, writing in my journal and responding to potential job offers.

Around 8:30 AM, I mount my bike again, which I hid around the corner by the trash bin at Starbucks, and throw my bag over my shoulder, but this time it does not sit right on my back, it hits the bike seat and causes it so swing right or left when I stand to mount the seat.  This causes two challenges, firstly I am off balance and two it gets in the way of riding.  With effort, I try to swing it back to where it should be without causing me to swerve into something stationary or cause the swaying of the bag to throw my balance off enough to where I have to start over getting going again.

The ride to the church is uneventful.  As usual, I am the only bike on the road, an odd feeling in a town with sidewalks, young people and great weather one might think they would be filled with them.  I have my routine down.  I cross the street back towards Starbucks then ride behind the RaceTrack gas station, then dart back across the street in a free break in traffic and charge up the side walk.

Down to the Town Square, where multitude of shops, restaurants and the movie theater are, then back across the street.  I will stay on this side of the street for the remaining part of the ride.  The sidewalks are partial here; I know I have to cross four thresholds of grass before I will arrive at the church driveway. 

Some mornings everything goes very well across these tracks, but it depends on the path, speed and how much they water the night before to whether it is a clean crossing.  Today, even though my day to be baptized, one patch of grass has been watered and a bit sloppy lake like, so I get a spraying of water and mud all over me, but it's not to think and appears to have the ability to dry without a mark.

The parking lot of the church is full, there are a total of 5 services available, thus the parking lot is continually full until after the last service and people are always around.  I am somewhat self-conscious riding my bike to church, thus come in the exit and enter from the side cars don't usually drive through. 

I found a great spot for my bike, to hide it from being noticed, thus limited embarrassment and for protection from being possibly stolen.  In front of the church there is about a 5' white brick wall, it hides the AC units for this section of the church.  There is enough room between the wall and the A/C units to put my bike, so I gently slide it between the two.  I grab my bible from one of compartments of my bag and place it gently next to the front wheel of my bike.

I head over to the sanctuary I am to be baptized.  In my pass over, I stop in the main lobby and grab a donut and a quick cup of coffee and then I run into Ed.  Ed is a member of the church and is part of a group called "Stephen's Ministry" and he has been there to counsel and listen to me and to help guide me for the last several months.  As I shake hands with him and embrace in a hug, he asks me, "Did you ride your bike?"   I smiled and said of course!

That was about a year ago.   Today, I went to church.  I work up to the same alarm I did a year ago, but I did not have to get up and leave because of lurking possibility of being discovered, in fact, I ignored the alarm and continued to sleep a bit longer.  My bed is soft and my blanket and comforter soft and clean.  I have a selection of clean clothes to choose from, but wonderfully more is I get up and get into a warm shower and shave with ease.

I walk down the few stairs from my loft of a bedroom; admire the art work of my younger children abound on the walls and the floor.  I open my front door of my warm, carpeted apartment and get into my 1995 excellent running and reasonably kept Lincoln Continental and drove to Church.

Today I still wonder how my life has been changed by my renewed relationship with Christ.  Even though a tremendous amount has changed, I still this question, I ask this question because I do not feel as though I can have a close enough relationship with Jesus Christ and never feel like I want to be content with the relationship I have.  Each day, I want to try harder to server Jesus Christ even more.

Even though, with all my honesty I could tell you I feel as close to Jesus Christ today as I did last year the day I was baptized, my life, my outlook, my faith and love have all changed for the better.  Is my life easier, no it has not, if anything it has gotten harder? Harder because I have greater wisdom, faith and love I did not have before.  So why is my life harder, it is because I struggle against my own vision of my limitations and the ones God has for me.  And constantly, when I feel I am out of capacity, I continue to have more.  And having more love, faith, forgiveness, argues against my personal self logic of why I should extend myself anymore.  But I realize, I am not extending anything, it's is God's will and if God can do it and ask me to do it, then I can do it, but it does not always make it easy.

I guess it's no difference than a coach believing the student can do more than the student believes themselves they can do as well as the teacher knowing the why the student needs to learn the lesson.

I look forward to my next year.  I know I still have so many obstacles to overcome, I know I will feel like I did this last year, that I was making no progress, my relationship with God and Jesus Christ needs even more work, but in the end I can say I learned even more lessons and been able to extend my love, grace, faith and forgiveness even more.

With All My Prayers and Blessings,

The Battle to Death

     The second scenario was when two people were battling it out face to face, the future of their lives ride on who wins.  If my enemy wins, then of course they take whatever I posses, if I win, I simply get to live my life in piece and harmony.  But instead of it being a fight to the finish and the stronger wins, my nemesis falls and puts himself into a vulnerable position.  All I have to do is not do anything and my enemy falls to his death, I win.  Yet, I have a few challenges with this action.  Firstly, I would not have won nobly, meaning I really did not beat my opponent, to me knowing I won because I was the 'better' more 'talented' is important.  Just as I am sure, a person who ends up winning the Gold on a technicality does not feel as noble as winning it straight out.  Secondly, this would give me the same feeling as not trying to save the person from the bus.  But the third part her is different, this situation has contemplation built in.  My enemy is not going to drop to his demise right now; maybe in a few moments, maybe in a little while, but I have time to think.  I think this was fair and this was his fate, accept it.  I also have the chance to consider this person is a child of God as I am a child of God, if my Father, Jesus Christ, was standing right there, would he say "let your brother drop, for he is evil and deservers it."  Or, would he say, "Save your brother for he is my child as you are.   "But Father, if I try and save my brother, I could easily slip and fall to my own death or my brother, who is evil, might use this as a way of saving himself and bringing my own demise." 

My decision is to try and save my enemy, God's son.  Why, even though it may cause me my own life.  One thought comes to mind Jesus Christ said.  Mt 10:39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. "

Because I am ok with my relationship with God, and because I trust in God, Love God with all my heart, soul, strength and mind, I don't have a problem putting my life in jeporady to save my brother, what my brother does depends on his relationship with God.  If he decides to take advantage of me and save himself and throw me to my death, I am ok, because I have already made my peace with God, Jesus Christ is my savior and my enemy will have to deal with God directly for his actions.  If my enemy decides to returnd the grace I have offered, that is not in my hands.  So my decision would reach out my hand and allow the other person the action they want to take, but by me not reaching out my hand, I have then decided the fate of my enemy for him, this is not what I believe is within my realm of being a servant to Jesus Christ.

The Bus of my dreams

I promised to answer respond to the dilemmas I posted a week ago or so ago.  The first dilemma was the event of an oncoming bus was about to hit and kill an emotional enemy of mine or yours.  Do I respond or how do I respond.

In the bus scenario, my relationship with the person would not matter, it would be automatic for me to do my best to elude the fate of the person in peril.  I would react without thinking, but with hope and prayer I could cause this person not to have their fate ended by this bus.  My concious would be the greater evil, my faith, belief and love of God would drive me to WANT to save this person, I don't believe the danger I would be putting myself into would come into mind, I would only be thinking about how I would feel if I did not do what I believed is the right thing to do.  So thinking would not occur; only my true inner nature.

If I saved this person, my reward would only be for doing the right thing and I would walk away feeling exactly that, I did what I had to do, which was the right thing.  No difference than stopping to help someone along side the rode.

Ethics, Morality, Love, Faith?

I was walking down the street and struck with this dilemma.  Coming across the street was someone who is causing my life pure misery, hell to be blunt.  I sigh, man just cannot get away from this person, it seems like they haunt me everywhere.  The sight of the person causes my heart rate to rise, a sizzle of intensity, just a plain dislike for this person to be named or be seen.  As I ponder these feelings and wish I had them not, I see a bus coming down the road.  As I gaze and follow it's path, I realize it is going to hit this person who emotionally I wish did not have to be in my presence, ever again. 

I quickly calculate the speed of the bus, the guess of the burst of my speed, voice and capability, can I move this person who I despise out of the way of the bus and yet not put myself in jeopardy.  Wouldn't that just be great, I end up in the hospital while they still are running around  free and causing harm to others and maybe   even laughing at my misfortune.  What do I do, what would you do?

It's another day, another battle with a sworn enemy.  The fight is very intense, challenging and maybe evenly matched.  My opponent struggles with me and in his release looses his balance and puts himself in a precarious position.  A position which seems to say "I won the fight"   But I did not win, it was an accident from the result of another action.  I did not pin him, force him to say uncle, regardless though, his mistake is my opportunity, isn't it.   As I evaluate my opponents position, I realize death is evident for him, he will slip from his precarious position, I want to walk away, knowing this person and their grief will never effect me again.  At the same time, I know if I reach out to help him, pull him to safety I will then put myself in a precarious position and be vulnerable to my enemy.  Meaning, my enemy could save himself while at the same time causing me to fall to my demise.  What do I do, what do you think you would do.

I will post my thoughts to these questions soon.

Ever Feel This Way?

Sunshine go away today, I don't feel much like dancing
Some man's come he's trying to run my life, don't know what he's asking
When he tells me I better get in line, can't hear what he's saying
When I grow up, I'm gonna make him mine, these ain't dues I been paying

How much does it cost?
I'll buy it!
The time is all we've lost
I'll try it!
He can't even run his own life,
I'll be damned if he'll run mine--sunshine...

Sunshine, go away today, I don't feel much like dancing
Some man's come he's trying to run my life, don't know what he's asking
Working starts to make me wonder where fruits of what I do are going
When he says in love and war all is fair, he's got cards he ain't showing

How much does it cost?
I'll buy it!
The time is all we've lost--I'll try it!
He can't even run his own life,
I'll be damned if he'll run mine--sunshine...

Sunshine, come on back another day,
I promise you I'll be singing
This old world, she's gonna turn around,
brand new bells will be ringing

by 

Jonathan Edwards

This was a song I heard when growing up and I felt it had value then and even more now.

Looking for Rip-Roar Moments in your life

The definition of a rip-roar moment is when you recognize a unique moment in your life and take advantage of it and it becomes a great moment, a memory, in your life, rather than a moment you wished you could have back.  Would you share yours with us?

I am putting together a talk about how so many people miss these type of moments and how we can begin to capture them so when we look back instead of seeing moments we missed, we see the moments we had.

Some examples:
- Friend and I in college played racket ball at 1:30 in the morning.
- Stopping in the middle of my workout to listen to my son's issue.
- My son sharing his popsicle with me without me even asking.
- Taking the day off of work to see my daughter sing at her pre-school graduation.

Would you mind sending me some of your rip-roar moments, I would love to be able, which your permission to use them in my talk.

Are you afraid of the Atheist?

Monday, April 12, 2010

12:37 PM

There seems to be a building concern about the movement of atheism, an assault on us Christians lately.  I would say it has grown to a point of fear, a fear to the point where I am seeing Christians thinking we need to defend ourselves, strike out, write nasty letters, feel like victimizing the person, or group trying to minimize Christianity.

I understand these feelings. Just last Sunday in Church I was shown a clip of a documentary demeaning religion and Christianity; it flared up in me without want, but I was mad at the person narrating the movie, I wanted to write him a letter, I angered he should have something horrible done to him AI felt.

The instant these feelings hit me, I stopped and wondered why, what do I have to worry about, who cares who believes him, is it really an assault on Christianity or Religion as a whole or me personally.  And even if it is, so what, is may desire to strike out because I am afraid he might be right, because others will think I am wrong, will I not have justification for my belief?

Christianity has become defensive; the movie "Davinci Code" came out and Angles and Demons.  Christians were outraged and even the Churches 'investigated the movies to see if there was anything offensive - but even if there was - so what, why are we so afraid. 

Shouldn't our faith be our faith?  And are we not already forewarned this would happen? 

The best way to respond is to not acknowledge and not to justify but to stand strong in our faith.  We do not have to justify our faith, faith is not logical this is why we are called on it to have it and thus rewarded for it. 

If you are afraid of Atheism it might be because you are afraid atheism might catch on and we will be outcasts, then what?  Again, we were forewarned of this and my prayer is you have had your faith tested and your character strengthened so when the time comes when our faith is put at the will of the guillotine, we use these moments to demonstrate our faith, not prove it.

Words don't prove faith, it's how we show it!

I am 48 almost 49...

I am 48 almost 49…


When I get up from lying on the carpeted floor, I sense my weight and my lack of conditioning. I rise to one knee, I pause to balance, I shift my weight forward and exert both legs to lift my torso upward. The pain! Not too severe, jolts through my knee. I grunt to help with the effort, I waver slightly in my ascent, and again I was able to overcome the immense gravitation pull on my body.

Getting to the floor is easier, but I am not sure with less effort or potential damage to my knees. I stand erect and position myself in the approximation of where my torso will land; I slowly bend my knees which turn into buckling. They cautiously but forcefully hit the carpeted floor with a slight skid. I can feel the compression in my knees from the impact, then the thud of my torso hitting my target.

Shortly after comforting myself, the aching my right shoulder starts. It is not the type of aching which is annoying but can be ignored. It is more like a grind aching – maybe even pain, the type which cannot be ignored – kind of like the pain one feels with a toothache. If I leave my arm in this position the high pitched ache gets worse. Over the years I have learned how to lodge a pillow under my arm in such a way which brings down the screeching pain to a low monotone bass. Something I can withstand for a reasonable amount of time. My favorite way to watch TV, read a book, or write is on the floor on my stomach – well it used to be.

When my right should developed the ache, I attributed it to an accident I had while riding my bike. I crashed and the brunt of the fall was directly on my right shoulder. When I got up, I could not move my shoulder, it hurt and I knew it was badly hurt, but luckily at this point it was one of the low wave pains. Ironically, I was on my way to a Chiropractor appointment.

The Chiropractor made sure my arm was not dislocated and took a couple x-rays, which revealed I had a hairline fracture in my shoulder blade. Since the accident, I have been limited to how much I could use my right arm – I am right handed too. I could not throw baseballs or footballs for very long and exit swimming practice early before my arm would flair up It was a long time before my right shoulder felt close to normal, but it never recovered fully.

My shoulder was never examined by a MD. I never had a follow up appointment to make sure my shoulder healed correctly. I simply learned to live within the limitations I had developed.

Up until the last few years, I had attributed this chronic pain to my bicycle accident. But I noticed something about my body. I noticed if I slept on either side, the shoulder I slept on ached. I also noticed when I raised my hands and put them behind my head, my favorite TV watching position, both shoulders felt like they were glued in place.

Family history. Oh my goodness, my memory revealed to me. My mom – it’s her fault I say in jest, but apparently I did inherit some of her genetics, one being arthritis. I remember my mom having significant should issues throughout my childhood. In fact, she was told not to do anything physical which caused her to raise her arms above her head for any duration. Today, this is when my own shoulders seem to act up – interesting coincidence.

After years of believing my accident on my bike was the cause of my suffering, this new revelation has redirected my blame from the accident or lack of quality care to that of inheritance. The accident may have escalated the onset of arthritis, but it was not the catalyst.

We Jump years ahead into history. I am a dad of five children. Two of my children have been harmed by genes in part from me. In both cases, there were events in their lives which I believe escalated the early onset of their illness.

As I worked through my shoulder injury from seventh grade, the accident was not recognized as the initial cause, but it became a problem of my own and by some peoples my own inhibitor which I just needed the fortitude to work through.

This very same attitude is being attributed to my son and daughter. Those around look at them as the source of the problem and they put all the pressure on them to correct ‘their’ problem and just learn to be ‘normal’. Yet, they have no more control over these issues than I do with the ache in my shoulder. The can as I have, recognize their limitations and work around them, find ways to cope and improve, these won’t heal, they won’t go away, and every time I lie down on the floor, my shoulder will ache too.

I am 48 almost 49 and I often sit down at a table and a numbness creeps into my right arm, from the shoulder down. It hurts, like a low hum, you know it’s there but not bothersome enough to do something about. It’s kind of like the how your foot feels right before the pricking pin feeling kicks in. I operate just fine, but I have to admit there is a small nuisance which comes with it.

I get a pinched nerve in my ankle every once in a while. It is so severe I cannot walk, although sometimes I can walk if I do so on the side of my foot. And from time to time, when I lay down on the floor without shoes, my foot rolls over and puts pressure on the outside edge of the ball of my foot, this causes it to inflame. Last year, twice, something in the heal of my foot became inflamed and I could not tell you even with a wild guess how it happened. The doctor joked seriously maybe I should just stay on anti-inflammatory medicines!

And a couple years ago, I was running on my treadmill and a flash of heat went across my ‘good’ knee. Within a few days I could not move without sever pain to myself. I slept in a chair for several nights because it was the only position the pain would reduce to low enough to allow for periodic sleep. I went to the doctor, he had no idea. He sent me to a specialist, he had no idea, so he sent me to have a special x-ray taken of my knee. This all took several weeks. By the time I got back to the doctor to review the results of the x-ray, my knee had healed itself. The result, I had arthritis in my knee – or did.

So I am 48 almost 49 and getting up and down from the floor is strategic. I have a tail bone with a cracked or broken vertebrae, thanks to a dumb event at five years old, my right shoulder aches and goes numb, both shoulder grin with pain if I raise them above my head for a period of time. I get inflammations for what seems to be no apparent reason. My knees feel as though they will explode while squatting, I have to wear 1.5x reading glasses which sometimes make everything look better!

I am 48 almost 49, I am down to my last dollar and I am starting my life over. I still carry the wounds from the past, but just as I have always done, I will work around them and/or strengthen them, but they will not stop me from moving forward, this I write.

I write therefore I am...

Today, I am writing as if it is for my life, like someone who might be exercising to keep themselves alive after they have been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I have a terminal illness it’s not a physical one but a mental one, it called fear and procrastination, lack of faith.

My concern is not doing what I need to do before it becomes too late! I have to question – am I just a complete failure? I scream YES because how would I get myself into this situation in the first place, yet again? But then again, how did I get this far if I was a complete failure? I guess having three women loving me enough to marry me is a compliment rather than I have three failed marriages. Or, maybe I can like Alexander Graham Bell and say I did not fail three times, I simply found three relationships that did not work. Regardless of my situation, I have something to say, I have the ability to say it, yet I let each day go by with the thanks it is over. Yet, then I fear sleep even though I long for it, the warm comfort of the bed the sweetness of my dreams, I know I will awake tomorrow with the same cancer I had yesterday.

The difference between me and terminal cancer, I can cause terminal cancer to withdraw, go into submission and cure myself just by doing what I need to do. In fact, every word I write here is one word towards my cure.

So what is wrong with me I cry. And even my family and friends condemn me for my cancer, but to me it is no difference than being confronted with a deadly situation, the mind and body freeze, thus I am the deer in the head lights.

You have it or not and it grows

Would you agree with me.  One either has faith or they don't.  You believe or you don't.  It's like you are pregnant or not.  Love however; seems to be a continued growth.  Each day I learn to love more and when I feel like I've reached my max, I still can love even more.  What are you thoughts, are continually challenged to find even more love in your heart, more compassion, more empathy?

What is your version?

This might be a question you get from a fellow Christian and might be used as a way of classifying you as a Christian. 
I was never aware there was a debate about which translated version of the Bible is the "best" until a friend of mine just happened to say "you aren't using the NIV are you?"  And continued to tell me about a couple 'acclaimed' errors in the NIV, which I validated.
This prompted me to do some research on the different versions of the Bible.  My findings were very, very surprising.  Firstly because there is a very heated debate over the versions of the Bible and which one is the 'best' or most accurate.  Secondly, I have been around all faiths of Christians my entire life and never heard of this debate, which means I guess I am ignorant.
In short the results of my brief research;
1. Their seems to be as much evidence of inaccuracies of every version.
2. It is agreed none of the English translations can be considered 'Devine' because it is still a translation and even more importantly, we don't have the true originals to compare. 
3. Many of the arguments against one version or the other are details none other than a true Bible scholar looking for such discrepancies would notice.
4. The version YOU choose should be based on your desired use.
5. It is recommended to have more than one version for example:  the NIV for ease of reading and the NASB for study.
One concern did come from my research.  There seemed to be a sense of 'thou greater than you' if you do not use a particular version.  We already have a division of the churches; debating or separating our brothers and sisters individually by insisting they are not true Christians by the version of the Bible they read is breaking braking up the church at its foundation, the people!
If your brother and/or sister believe as you do; then embrace and love each other as Jesus Christ commanded of his disciples.  

Doing What is Good

Titus 3:1-12 NIV

Doing What is Good

 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.

 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. 

He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.

Rediscovering Moral Values … Not going to happen!

If my memory serves me well, my grandma talked about how morals had gotten worse since she was a child.  My dad talked about the same of his generation in comparison to mine as I do to my kids.

I truly do not think this will ever happen, it's a truth I agree with; and I am not saying not to try, but from my understanding of society and combine this with what the Bible says, moral degradation is going to continue; what will change is what we think is acceptable.

Think about the sex, violence and language on TV.  Even me, in my short 48 years remember when you had to go to a 'R' rated movie to hear and see what is on now during family time TV! 

"We have" tried to reverse this for years, "we" have complained about it, yet; it is still getting more explicit isn't it?  Shoot, I was just thinking about a movie I was watching with my daughter, it was it had content on it you had to be 18 to see in my day!!!  Amazing.

As a Christian I am not a believer we can save the world, the Bible already tells us this; but I do believe we have the chance to save each other.  So as a Christian, do not rediscover our moral values; demonstrate them by who you are and the way you live.

I found this quote very profound…

"Through this universe I own, I possess not a thing, for I cannot know the unknown if to the known I cling" 

from the book "The Knight" by  Robert Fisher

Confirmation

I wrote not too long ago about not to let anyone judge your relationship with God.  I came across these versus in the Bible this afternoon and thought you might enjoy them as well.

I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

1Cor4:3-5 NIV

Decreasing into his purpose

He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30.

If you become a necessity to a soul, you are out of God’s order. As a worker, your great responsibility is to be a friend of the Bridegroom. When once you see a soul in sight of the claims of Jesus Christ, you know that your influence has been in the right direction, and instead of putting out a hand to prevent the throes, pray that they grow ten times stronger until there is no power on earth or in hell that can hold that soul away from Jesus Christ. Over and over again, we become amateur providences; we come in and prevent God, and say—‘This and that must not be.’ Instead of proving friends of the Bridegroom, we put our sympathy in the way, and the soul will one day say—‘That one was a thief, he stole my affections from Jesus, and I lost my vision of Him.’

Beware of rejoicing with a soul in the wrong thing, but see that you do rejoice in the right thing. “The friend of the Bridegroom . . . rejoiceth greatly because of the Bridegroom’s voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease.” This is spoken with joy and not with sadness—at last they are to see the Bridegroom! And John says this is his joy. It is the absolute effacement of the worker, he is never thought of again.

Watch for all you are worth until you hear the Bridegroom’s voice in the life of another. Never mind what havoc it brings, what upsets, what crumblings of health, rejoice with divine hilarity when once His voice is heard. You may often see Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it. (Cf. Matt. 10:34.)

Chambers, Oswald: My Utmost for His Highest : Selections for the Year. Grand Rapids, MI : Discovery House Publishers, 1993, c1935, S. March 24

Anxiety / Depression

These definitions popped into my head this morning…

 
 

Anxiety is lack of confidence in the future.

 
 

Depression is lack of hope in the future.

 
 

To have both is to lack faith.

3rd Response to Honor Your Parents

I have to prerequisite this reply with this information. David is a friend from HS, who would of know we would reunite here, only God knows. Dave it's good to be in touch with you again and look forward to more conversations.

Hi Lee! The issue of parental authority is one of law, and has been from the beginning. The role of Father in the family has been under attack from the beginning, as well. The question of "who's your daddy?" certainly applies here. The fact is, we've all been led astray by forces working against the family and through structures that have been built up in the imagination of fallen men, and not of God.

Each of the respondents below referred to context as being critical, and this is quite true. The context of Honoring one's father and mother comes from Deut 5:16. The context has to do with remaining on the land that the Father in heaven was going to give to Abraham. The object of the promise is freedom, and dominion, and authority.....liberty.....the right to do as one pleases, without the hindrance of ill-advised contracts which subject oneself to foreign governments and their gods. God wants mankind to be free souls under Him, not subjects of a foreign god. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

The ignorance of the law of the Father has brought the role of the Father into disrepute, and has caused the near annihilation of the family. Patrimonial rights have been surrendered from the very moments following the birth of our children. Find me a "minister" who can justify the process of Novation. That is, the process of signing over the authority of the role of Father to the State in the moments following the child's birth. We have all been warned that Satan waits at the womb! You lost your parental rights when you ignorantly signed them over to the State. The State maintains a record of that forfeiture in their database. They gave you a copy of the Contract you signed. It's called a Birth certificate. It is the first cord in a three-fold cord which is used to bind a child to the State from cradle to grave.

The Bible teaches us to Call no man on earth Father. This has nothing to do with Catholic priests, but everything to do with calling someone other than your bio-dad a father. You and I went to public school. We learned all about our Founding Fathers. These are the gods of this country. These are the ones that God said we are not to call father.

When Moses was born his mother sent the tiny tot down the river, just as you did with your own children. And, the daughter of Pharoah received the baby of the Hebrew woman and called for her, and told her to take the baby home and give it suck and when it was of age, she would take it back. Can you see the parallel between surrendering your child to the State at birth, and then taking it home and raising it up until it's 18, and then sending them off to be ruled by the State? It's no wonder that children are disobedient to the parents, instinctively they know they've been sold out...sent down the river!

There is a second cord that binds a child to the servitude of the State, rather than the Father, and that is the process called Tutor. That's where I met you. We both had parents that participated in that sin. Tutor is "free" public education. The third cord that completely binds a child into servitude for life is called Corban. You can read about that at Mark 7:11. It is the exact same system today, as it was 2000 years ago. Today we refer to it as Social Security, and everyone has their SSN. Almost all the countries of the world have their own version of Social Security, and those that do not are presently at war with the USA. Those are countries which still maintained the role of the Father. By the way, in Canada, their program of Social Security is called Social Insurance. They quite candidly abbreviate their program as such, SIN. Gotta love the Canadians for their disclosure.

The Bible warns us about this three-fold cord which is not easily broken in Proverbs. Now you know what the process is to accomplish that object, and the goal is to destroy the role of Father, family, and freedom.

Yes, we must obey God rather than men, so why does anyone have a Social Security number? Why do they "vote" in an indirect democracy for men that call themselves Father, in a system with centralized top-down authoritative style government, who by design and stealth take children away from their families, and send them off to war, who have a central bank, and who plunder to poor, the widow, and the fatherless? Moses stood against such practices and would've body slammed everyone of the Founding Fathers for creating such a debauched system. The Prophet Samuel railed against such a corrupt system, and God told him that if the people wanted such a system it was because they had Rejected God, not Samuel. God told Samuel to go ahead and let them have their way, and that they would pay a heavy price for their disobedience. Such governments were abhorrent to Jesus, and he told His disciple, it shall not be so with you! He taught them to build a system of service from the bottom-up. The greatest amoung you shall be as the least, a servant of all.

Lee, if you want your children to be obedient to you, you need to be obedient to God. In order to do that you need to repent. Repent from the evil works that you and I were led into by those we trusted: our parents, teachers, government leaders, and "ministers". We need to chart a new course and follow Christ. In order to accomplish that you will need divest yourself of the platitudes of modern day Churchianity, and the sophistry of seminarians and translators. You need to roll up your sleeves and get busy learning what no one else ever taught you before today. The leaders in the "church" so-called, have been blinded by their own ignorance, and are the modern shephards who flee when the enemy approaches, because the flock is not their own.

A man's enemies are those of his own household, and of his own "church", and community, because they've all gone astray from the womb, speaking the lies they were taught by well-meaning, but nevertheless ignorant people. No man can serve two master's. And, those who try to walk in the camp of Saints and the world, will be torn asunder. The Church is not the State, and "ministers" alledgedly proclaiming Christ have NO authority under God to translate their congregations to the power and dominion of the State, which is what every single 501C3 "minister" does. These are State "churches", State organizations, and they are silenced in their abilithy to speak out against the corruptions of the State, which include the destruction of the family....from the moment of the creation of the union of man and woman. ALL 501C3 "ministers" perform ceremonies of marriage by the "Power and Authority vested in me by the State of __________". Your marriage License is on record with the State, is it not? Because of this your children, the fruit of your marriage, are also promised to the State. This is why the State can dictate how your children can be raised. They come into your home and dictate the care of their health, education, and welfare. You completed the necessary contracts to allow that to happen. Your trusted "minister", ought not to have been trusted.

These "ministers" of 501C3 "churches" have no business telling anyone to be obedient to God, for they are the greatest offenders of that statement of all men. These are the hypocrites of our day. Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

In the day that Christ was beginning His ministry, there was a blind man from birth who was made to see by Jesus. His family was called to give an answer as to how it was that their son was made to see. Their answer was quite illustrative. You can read about that in John 9. The point of that was that if anyone was professing that Jesus was the Christ, they were agreed to put that man or woman out of the synogogue. It's easy to see this incident as ex-communication, but, men forget that Isreal was a nation set apart by God. It was to be a "religious" example of how a nation was to live according to the dictates of God. When the leaders of the synogogue ex-communicated someone, they were actually expelling them from the benefits, privileges, and opportunities offered to them through the system of Health, Education, and Welfare they had set up in that nation. In fact, these people were being focibly ex-patriated. In the Greek Interlinear text of the NT, the word Father is often untranslated, from the Latin word Pater. It is where we get the words Patriate, ex-Patriate, and Patriotic. Are you a Patriot? Do you call upon the founding fathers of the nation, or upon the President to solve your troubles, or do you call upon Our Father which art in Heaven, whose name is hallowed? Who is your father?

There are MASSIVE problems in the modern "church", old friend. The slumber of the "ministers" has caused the destruction of the Father, the family, and the nation.

However, Christ Jesus has given us a way out, and that is through Him. You may also want to read Galatians 4.

I recommend the following sources for further information and guidance:

George Ricker Berry Greek Interlinear

Strongs Concordance

Vine's Expository Dictionary

In Caesar's Grip, by Peter Kershaw

www.hisholychurch.info There is a specific article written addressing this very concern, Call no man Father

Blessings to you Lee! It's been too long!

Blessings to all those who have ears to hear, and eyes to see. The time is very short.

David

Pasted from http://www.allaboutgod.net/forum/topics/honor-your-parents-but-jesus?xg_source=activity>